I have too many bad memories connected to the rain. The time my brother tried to kill himself it was pouring out, rain was dripping down the windshield. And the time that my other brother actually did kill himself it felt that the rain never stopped.
It's raining now and I try to keep my chin up. It's always hard though, especially in California where rain feels like a special occasion, a day off in some ways. I'm not quite ready for winter. It's a hard time of year for me.
I just spent $400 on sweaters and jackets to get prepared for the winter. I already have so many. If I can wrap myself up with pretty, new, warm items every year during this time then I can feel ok, right? It's fucked up. But somehow it works. You should see my sweater closet.
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