My sister for example, I miss her most of all. And of course she's the person I spend the most time with, outside of my live-in boyfriend. If I don't talk to Mandy for 3 days it feels that a lifetime has passed, even if our conversations have nothing to do with anything at all. I just miss her - I miss her voice, I miss her energy, I miss her 'yeah, what's up?' And nothing is ever up. I simply can't live without her, I can never miss her more than a few days, that's the limit. I give up, I have to hear her.
Now with Ron, my live-in boyfriend, different. I also miss him, and in silly, WAY silly ways. I miss him when I'm at work, I miss him sometimes in the mornings if he goes on long runs, and sometimes I miss him just if he's in the other room. I think it's because I really love him. I think it's because I really enjoy his company.
Mom - I miss her too, just like I miss Mandy. But different. Mom is with me all the time. I can't really explain it, other than I know we are connected in a very spiritual way. Not to say I'm not connected to Mandy and Ron in that way, because yes, I am - but with Mom it's different, more intense, more emotional. So I guess I can go longer without talking to her - longer without seeing her, because I feel her with me all the time - yet still, I see and talk to her often.
TV shows - ok, fine - maybe way different, but still I miss them. Like it's Friday night and I have to wait an entire week before I can watch another Top Chef - yeah, I miss that show.
And everything else is just guilt. It seems that I mix my missing with my conscience on all other accords. So I guess in a lot of ways my life is simple. I think to miss too much and too many would simply be too hard.
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